You Have Matched With Jessica


If you don’t like dogs, just swipe left and save us both the trouble.  I’m looking for something serious.  No hookups!  I love Netflix, hiking and my dog.  If you wanna know anything else, hmu.

Jessica is less than a mile away

Scott: Hey!  How’s it going?

Jessia: Good, u?

Scott:  Can’t complain.  What’s your favorite show on Netflix?

Jessica: What’s Netflix?

Scott: …

Scott: You said you love Netflix on your profile.

Jessica: Oh. Yeah sorry about that.  I copied someone else’s profile.

Scott:  Why?

Jessica: Didn’t want to write one about myself.

Scott: Ok.  I’m not looking for anything weird so…

Jessica: Do you want to play a game?

Scott: …

Jessica: It’s easy.

Scott: Okay, I’ll bite.  What’s the game?

Jessica: You have to run.

Scott: Run where?

Jessica: Anywhere

Scott: Why?

Jessica: So you don’t get caught.

Scott: By you?

Jessica: Yep.

Scott: But you don’t know where I live.

Jessica: Ok.

Jessica: Tell your dog to come inside.

Scott: I don’t have a dog.

Jessica: Yes you do.

Scott: How do you know?

Jessica: I’m standing outside your house.

Scott: No you’re not.

Jessica: k

Scott: This isn’t working out.  I’m going to go ahead and stop this chat.

Jessica: I wouldn’t recommend it

Scott: Why?

Jessica: You’ll lose the game.

Fifteen Mintues Later

Scott: Did you do something to my dog?

Jessica: I told you to bring it inside…

Scott: Fuck you lady.  This conversation’s over.  I’m going to find my dog.


801695****: Why did you block me?

801239****: Who is this?

801695****: I think we both know who we’re talking to.


Scott: How did you get my number?

Jessica: Found it.

Scott: You found it?

Jessica: Yeah. On your dog’s collar.

Scott: You have my dog????  Where are you?

Jessica: Not anymore.  Not in the way you mean at least.

Jessica: If I told you that, the game wouldn’t be as fun.

Scott: Where’s my dog??

Jessica: In your back yard.

Scott: No he’s not.

Ten minutes later


Jessica: But you’re not supposed to be chasing me.

Scott: Where are you?

Jessica: You’re supposed to be running.

Scott:  Fuck you.

Scott: The cops are on their way.

Scott: Where are you?

Jessica: I’m inside your house.

Scott: Bullshit. 

Jessica: K.

Scott: What do you mean?  Where are you in my house?

Jessica: I thought you wanted to come chase me now.

Scott: Fuck you crazy bitch.

Jessica: I’m lying on your bed right now

Scott: No you’re not.

Jessica: I’m naked.  Do you want to see?

Scott: No. Fuck you.  You’re not even in my bedroom.

Jessica: I didn’t mean that bed.

Scott: I don’t have another bed.

Jessica: Yes you do.  Everyone does.

Scott: You’re fucking crazy.

Jessica: It’s your deathbed.

Scott: The cops will be here any minute now.  Go the fuck away.

Jessica: Are you going to run?

Scott: No, I’m going to wait for the cops.

Jessica: But you’re supposed to run.

Scott: I’m not playing your game.

Jessica: Yes you are.

Scott: No, I’m not.

Jessica: You don’t have a choice. 

Scott: Fuck you.

Jessica: Run.   POLICE REPORT

Date of Incident: Saturday, April 14, 2018

Time of Initial Report: 23:17

Officer Notes:

Officers Randall and Trelawney arrived at ADDRESS REDACTED and tried to contacts residents.  After a perimeter check of the house, the body of a German Shephard was discovered on the back porch.  It appeared to the officers to be the victim of an animal attack.  Animal control and backup units were called and the responding animal control officer noted that the dog’s injuries seemed to have been caused by a mountain lion or similar.

Upon the arrival of the backup officers, four officers entered the residence.  After clearing the house, it was deemed unoccupied and an alert was filed to locate Scott Thompson, whom the officers at the scene believed to be in danger.

Air units located the body of Thompson on Sunday, April 15, 2018 at approximately 01:37 six yards away from the canal by the intersection of Winchester and Mulberry.

Medical personnel declared Thompson deceased at the scene, with an approximate time of death at 01:00 on Sunday, April 15, 2018.  Cause of death appeared to be massive blood loss from the wounds around his midsection and neck.  Animal control investigators presume that the animal which attacked Thompson’s dog was likely the same breed, if not the same animal, which killed Thompson.  On Thompson’s person was a wallet, a set of keys, and a cellphone which have all been stored in evidence bags for future review. 

A search was immediately mounted for the animal responsible for the death of Thompson and news stations were notified to alert the public of a possible predatory animal within city limits.

No further information has been determined at this time.  This case shall remain open until further notice.


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